I Can't Let This Go
Just when my day turned around and done got all rainbows and sunshine, some one had to show me these links. Check out this Fucktard (nod to CM for the lovely word), she's some typist from USA and judging by the words she's thrown together, I think she might be a high school student:
Dad-Core Is Hard-Core
SAHDs Gone Mad
You know, I have a few friends who are women (okay, I have a lot of female friends) with whom I arrange play dates and I haven't made a single pass at any of them. We get together and the kids play. We drink tea. We talk about potty-training. We talk about other parents. We talk about our bodily functions as though we all have them. They trust me. They trust me with their kids. I've even gone out for beers with a few of them. We don't think of it as women vs. men, we just happen to be the ones who all quit work to stay home and raise our children—that's our familiar link. It's a fact that my wife has more in common with the SAHM's husbands. It's a fact that I share a similar lifestyle to the moms in my neighbourhood. It's not about sex, it's about our shared duties at this time in our lives. Sure, sometimes the women talk about "guys" and sometimes they discuss breast-feeding or their sex lives. I can handle it and so can they. It's called talking, socializing, gossiping and this can actually be done in a mixed crowd—are you following me, Fucktard? Perhaps you can have your guidance counsellor explain this to you after classes tomorrow.
The women I befriend become like my sisters. And I don't fancy to shag my sister, got that, Fucktard? I don't believe for a second that in your experience, Fucktard, SAHDs are the problem—it's you. You are the one with the inability to put your lame ass high school mentality behind you and grow the hell up. You were the one fussing and primping in front of the mirror before the SAHD arrived. Don't impose your societal fears and your mental shortcomings onto the rest of us. We're actually doing just fine thank-you very much, Fucktard. Thanks a bunch.
13 Folks say:
Oh Den, whoever wrote it is not worth a rats ass, and anyone who thinks like her is a fucktard.
You have many many friends female and male, who appreciate you for the person you are.
Gender should not be an issue, sadly for some it is.
But the friends you have Den, are golden because that is what you bring on yourself.
idiot fucktards. let me at 'em. I swear there are too darn many.
Den, I enjoy you in all your ranty manly glory.
I love your appropriate and liberal use of the term 'fucktard.' Such a fantastic word. Such a fantastic post. Such a perfect post. Perhaps someone should nominate you for the Perfect Post Award this month. Now...what's the name of the woman who gives out those awards...hmmm...Lindsay Something or Other...she's from Nashville, I believe. Hmm...
But in all seriousness: great topic.
One of the few great things about my town is the number of dads who (because of shift work and massive lay-offs by the town's major employer) attend playdates and storytime and do school drop-offs.
But TheOmegaMan volunteered as Kindergarten classroom helper in December (to the delight of our son) and the female teacher asked another mother to come in on the same time. Because my husband is a chemical engineer and he might not know how to work the photocopier or be able to keep the children from eating paste. Nice way to role model sexism in front of six year olds. Fucktard, indeed.
I had coffee with a SAHD just this past week. It's a shame that I hadn't read these valuable articles first and learned how uncomfortable I was supposed to feel.
Den, I agree those articles were offensive and only served to perpetuate sexism. The attempt at humour definitely fell flat for me, but I do suspect that the kernal of truth behind it is that as much as SAHMs can feel isolated, it is probably even harder for dads?
Wow, that was pretty terrible. While I come down on the side saying that male-female friendships are sometimes complicated by misinterpretation, I don't think the reasons for that make sense, and I certainly don't think they should be perpetuated or worse, celebrated. I'm mortified.
Pure nonsense...they don't even deserve a response...not that yours wasn't great.
This is ridiculously. Maybe things are like that in Hicksville USA, but I have lots of Daddy friends around here (and I don't dry my hair for them, or anyone else for that matter!)
den, i am standing and applauding this post, but i bet you don't know why...
because dude, you did it, you posted a rant, and rant with cussin' nonetheless...i bet you feel damn proud to say it outloud in blogland!
*clap clap clap*
Lil xo
Wait one sec, while I go brush my hair...
I need to write a post that allows for such enthusiastic use of the word fucktard.
And you are spot-on.
Wow! It's great to hear this side of you -- AWESOME RANT, and so deserved. You're absolutely right about all that you said. I got yo back, bro! ;)
Seriously awesome rant Den. You can join my playgroup any time... oh wait, I don't have a playgroup because people ASSume that I'm the nanny. Gah!
And all hail the use of the word Fucktard.
When I came on the scene as an at-home dad (I hate that term incidentally but I can't come up with one that's more fitting) I was given the no-thanks by more than one moms' group. There is a group for dads in my area but because we are few and far between, meetings mean trying to fit nap time into the drive over. Just be glad you have a place to play.
You know - I wrote something about this last week, but what I didn't say was...
1.) Stay at home dad's have a raw deal on the friend making front. For sure.
2.) I could and would and do have male friends just as you describe.
I DO think it would be hard to form such a relationship with you in the TOTAL abscence of K knowing you.
I would want him to know you and KNOW that it was a safe relationship. Not a threat. Just as I imagine you would want your wife to know that.
(K trusts me totally - he says he wouldn't have to know the guy, but... I don't know. I would want to know a woman he was spending a lot of time with so maybe it's just me that's the jealous freak.)
Have I highjacked your comments enough?
Ack!
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